Avoid and Conquer

The following is a guest blog post from my husband Tim.

Ah, youth. So many great memories, so many things to cherish.  It’s funny what memories come rushing back to us in adulthood (and in parenthood) and even more amazing when these memories can help us out a time or two.  One memory of mine isn’t so much a memory, but a tactic that I’d employ in my younger years to avoid going to church.  I’d like to call it “avoid and conquer”.

On any given Sunday morning when my parents would be up and getting ready for church, I’d still be laying like a slug on a log in my bed.  The thing is, I was most-likely awake but dreading the chore of having to go to church.  My plan for getting out of this task was to pretend I was sleeping.  I’d close my eyes as tight as I could and even throw in a carefully-crafted fake snore from time-to-time.  Now this wasn’t 100% effective, but it worked a majority of the time, so I threw it into the #Winning column.  Looking back on it now, it was pretty damn ridiculous.  Until I did it again yesterday morning.

No, I wasn’t trying to get out of going to church, I was trying to avoid Cooper.  He’d gotten up at 3-ish in the morning with crying fits, so I brought him into our bed for a “little while” so he could settle down.  The “little while” lasted until I woke up at 6:30 and in between that time, Carter had decided to join us as well.  Imagine Four sardines crammed into a small can and that’s what we looked (and felt) like.

While waking up, I heard Coop start to rustle around and could sense he was looking at or near me, so in a momentary flashback to my youth, I closed my eyes as tight as I could and pretended that I was still sleeping.  I didn’t throw in any fake snores (though I suppose I could have gotten one or two past him at his young age) but I was clenching my eyelids closed as tight as possible. I was either really sleeping, or trying damn hard to be invisible.  Come to think of it, the invisibility thing might have been a good fallback plan, if not for the fact it’s humanly impossible.

After a few moments of this absurdity, I slowly opened one eye and looked around.  It seemed the coast was clear and I could start making my escape…er, exit from the bed.  After I made it out safely and was able to fire up my laptop and take care of some work, I did a little celebratory dance (in my head). I’d done it! I was free.  It was Timmy Time (no, not that Timmy Time)!  The good ‘ol Avoid and Conquer technique, though rusty and dust-covered from years of non-use, had worked!  A half an hour later Cooper woke up and tracked me down.  It was fun while it lasted.

This entry was posted in Bedtime, Cooper AKA Chunky Monkey, Tim. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.